RITA'S POETRY AND WRITINGS PAGE TWO

LOVE IS

LOVE IS …….

Love is tending to the torn knee

  Love is changing dirty diapers

    Love is a gentle cuddle through a storm of tears

     Love is being able to forgive

       Love is also being able to forget

Love is tenderness

  Love is truth in the face of destruction

    Love is living without fear

      Love is giving to someone in need

        Love is parting with treasures untold

Love is comforting the sick

  Love is keeping vigil with those dying

    Love is a smile exchanged with a stranger

      Love is laughter shared

        Love is showing someone you care

Love is a gift not to be taken lightly

  Love is saying your sorry

    Love is to be shared not greedily kept

      Love is to be set free to soar from soul to soul

        Love is not binding but flying

Love is to be cherished

  Love may not be purchased or forced

    Love must be freely given

      Love must not be abused or trampled on

        Love makes life worth living

           Rita Teubner, October 15, 1998 copyright October, 2001

 

PEACE

In the stillness, the sounds of nature gradually begin to soothe and calm me.

There is the whisper of angel wings in the breeze that gently caresses my cheek.  The soothing music created by a gently winding stream as it makes its melodic path down the mountainside.  The rustling in the woods as the little creatures living there go about their business.

There is the warmth of the sun which soothes and relaxes me as I sit and listen to the crash of the waves in the distance, rolling upon the shore.  The splash of color as if an artist's brush had placed the wildflowers dotting the landscape for all to look upon and enjoy.

Surrounded by the beauty of nature, I feel at one with the Universe and can return to the cares of the day with fresh optimism, sure in the knowledge that the peace I felt here can remain in my heart forever.

Rita Teubner, April, 1997, copyright October, 2001  

KEEPING THE HOME FIRES BURNING

Come my love, and walk with me, through green and luscious fields of clover, where there is nothing but blue sky and mountains to surround us.

When we are young, we feel the world is at our command.  We sit, hold hands, and make our plans for the future, with no thought to the trying times which may be ahead.

The young man in love has a spring to his step, as like a strutting peacock, he displays his companion to one and all, wanting everyone to be aware of the fact that she belongs next to him.

The young woman gazes at her man with starry eyed trust and enchantment.  She hurries to match his steps, an impossible task for sure.  No one could be prouder than this little Miss, with her young Adonis at her side, ready to slay dragons for her.

Their wedding was a grand affair, they wanted to declare their love for each other to the world.  What better way to cement their relationship, than to have a child.  As the children are added to the family picture, it begins to yellow and tear around the edges.

As the husband leaves for work, his wife and little toddlers, their noses pressed against the windowpane, stand waving goodbye to Daddy.  He makes his way through the bustle of the morning traffic, pleased to be away from the noise and commotion of home, and on his way to work again.

As Mom faces another day, the children are full of life and energy, going behind her leaving a trail of destruction in their wake.  Oh - it is well-meaning destruction, as they are exploring their world, finding out how things work, and learning social skills from one another, as children's play is their "work."

As she sits after making sure they are all tucked in their beds for a nap, she wishes for the days in the past, without the noise and disruption of the children to intrude upon her thoughts and dreams.  She loves her children, but is beginning to feel as though she is no longer a "person."  She is either "Susie's" Mom, or "Johnny's" wife.

After a busy day at the office, Dad arrives back home, tired and worn, wanting nothing but to sit down, read the newspaper, and watch the news in peace.  The evening has begun....

As he enters the house, he is greeted by Nellie and Susie arguing over the fingerpaints, they are covered in a rainbow of colors, as is most of the surrounding area.  Sparky the dog is cowering in the corner, as little Nathan has him pinned down with a big yellow Tonka truck.

All too soon the evening is over, and the children are all tucked in their beds.  Mom is in the kitchen, doing the dinner dishes and cleaning the kitchen.  She sighs, as she knows that it will just get messed up again in a few hours, when her toddlers devour their breakfast.

Mom is just grateful every evening to be able to say that she got through another day without any real excitement.  She is exhausted after a day spent feeding, washing, changing diapers, dusting, drying off tears, giving hugs and kisses, doing laundry, getting dinner and cleaning up.

The children are sleeping now, their faces so innocent and beautiful in their slumber, dreaming of cotton candy and soda-pop fountains.  As they sit in their chairs, the silence is deafening.  Mom and Dad look at each other with a tinge of sadness in their gazes.  Another day is gone, and it feels as if nothing has been accomplished.  The lights are turned out, the babies are kissed one last time and they fall into bed, asleep almost before their heads hit the pillows.

Gone are the days of cuddling and sharing the warmth of exploring each others bodies and they barely have energy to get into the bed.  Just as they have drifted off.. there is the patter of little footsteps, and there is little Susie, complaining that she is thirsty, or has had a nightmare.  As Dad's snores fill the air, Mom gets up and reassures little Susie that there are indeed no monsters hidden under her bed.  After more hugs, kisses and reassurance, her little one is tucked back snugly in her bed.

As the years fly by, nothing seems to change much.  All too soon the children are grown and leave the nest, and one day you awaken and find you are living with a stranger.  Conversation is stilted - with the children being away, there is nothing to talk about.  They both wonder - how did we come to this point?  If they could only turn back the hands of time, and do it all over again... how could they regain the intensity of feeling they had when they were first together... the gentle flame is still there in their hearts, burning ever so softly, waiting to be rekindled and set ablaze.

It is my suggestion that we as parents must try to keep that flame ablaze all along.  Dad has a 50/50 investment in the children, although the general consensus amongst the male population is that their job is finished once the child is created, and raising the children is "woman's" work... he may be tired and worn out when he arrives home in the evening, but he must remember that Mom has had a bad day of it as well.

Expectations should be lowered, and less than should be accepted.  Dad should remember to bring home little tokens of love, so Mom feels beautiful, even though the hair looks like it has been through the blender, the make-up has long since worn off and the clothing she's wearing has been stained during the day's activities.  I suggest that hugs aplenty would do much to lift her spirits.

Make time for yourselves - set aside time every evening to sit and cuddle, and keep that flame burning brightly.  Mom - let Dad know how much you appreciate his assistance organizing and distracting the crew, while you get a few moment's respite.  Find things to do as a family that all enjoy, so that when the house is yours once again you still have something in common.  

Pay attention to what is being said by your spouse and hear each other out.  Be patient with each other, parenting is an extremely challenging occupation.  Put up a united front to the children.  If you do so, then the story could have a different ending...

Come walk with me my love... the gray haired gentleman gently leads his wife down the sandy beach, the waves crashing against the shoreline and the hues from the setting sun on its way to rest color the sky.  His arm is draped lovingly across her shoulders and there is a spring to his step as he proudly walks beside her... she gazes up at him, starry eyed with the wonder of it all - the years have flown by ... yet her Adonis is still by her side.

Rita Teubner McDougall

 July, 1996 copyright August, 1997

LIFE'S JOURNEY

As we begin our journey, we are full of enthusiasm, joy and hope.  We soon find that our road is full of tall grass and weeds, ruts and holes to slow us down and dampen our enthusiasm.  Soon the lightness has disappeared from our step, and it is like we are being sucked into quicksand, with no escape.

Instead of family and friends, we turn to those who are like us to keep us company, as we don't feel so bad about ourselves then, some of these companions can make us look good in comparison.  On this road we come across many other people, struggling as we are to make sense out of life.

When you meet me on this road, please look beneath the surface.  You may see someone who is dirty, unkempt, mired in mud and quicksand, who needs you to lend a hand.  Take time to reach out your hand, let me pull myself up and rest a bit.  Offer to assist me on my journey, but remember, do not do things for me that I am capable of doing myself.  Don't be afraid of my unkempt appearance, for there is someone's little girl or boy tucked away deep inside me still.  Let me know that you care.

Remember there is beauty in everyone, you just have to know how, when and where to look to find it.  Life is like a garden full of flowers, we have a real colorful mix on our hands.  Like flowers, our souls need to be nurtured and loved, weeded, watered and fertilized in order for us to grow and develop.

One flower, no matter how beautiful, cannot compare to a whole bunch of lovely flowers.  That which is neglected in this garden will wither in the sun and die, so too, will human souls wither and die without friends, family, and a good support system in place.  Do not just stop to smell the roses, take a good look to see what is needed to let our garden flourish.  It is the garden which is nurtured, watered and loved which produces the most flowers.

I do not know why I have stumbled, and cannot seem to continue.  All I know is that the world won't miss one more bum to keep the streets unsafe, and I turn to drugs and alcohol to try and get rid of the pain and hopeless feeling which pervades.  Why can't I overcome, why do I let these obstacles remain to defeat me?  I have battled long and hard - alone, abandoned, struggling to understand why, and am ready to give up.

Please, my brothers and sisters, do not abandon me in my hour of need.  Help me regain my enthusiasm for life, and show me the things I need to do.  Reach out your hand to me, and let me use it as a crutch to get things moving once again.  My journey will be so much smoother, and your journey will be so much richer, too.

In memory of Don, brother of Jenny.  Jenny spent the last 20 years trying to lend a hand.  Don lost his battle last week, and the world lost another one of the flowers from its garden.  I hope he finds the peace that eluded him while he was with us.

Rita Teubner, November 6, 1995, copyright October, 2001

The following is dedicated to the mothers and wives in the world who are struggling with cancer or any terminal illness.  May Spirit look over you and grant you peace in your lives.

A PRAYER FOR CHRISTINE

As I start my journey down a new path, I pray that you will send your angels to guide me, as I have never walked this way before.  I know from the nature of my illness, there will be many ruts and trees crossing the path I must go along.

Please let me take the strength that I need to keep on my path from those who now surround me.  Let me come in contact now with those who will be able to lend me their strength, so that I may continue on.

Protect me from my self-doubts, and let me not get involved in self-pity, as this will lend to my defeat.  When I am weak and weary, and feel that I cannot go on, please send your angels to me to gently pick me up and carry me along, until I can get the strength back in my step once more.

Help me to remember just how special I am, for I am a mother, blessed with two lovely children, and they alone keep me plodding along, unable to accept defeat.  Oh, that I may stay on the path long enough to see them grown, and on their own.

Please inspire those who care for me to know what is best to rid my body of what is trying to destroy it.  Bless me with a clear mind, and a heart without malice, jealousy or other useless emotions.  Bless my spouse with the patience and unselfish desire to assist me on my journey.  Let him understand what I need from him at this moment.

Please see to it that the lines of communication between myself and those who are caring for me are kept open - when one knows what to expect and can prepare for it, then defeat can be held at bay.  Let me enjoy every moment I am given, and let me live my life to its full potential.  When my heart is heavy, let me take wings and soar above the pain and sadness.

Please give me the inner strength to push on, not with a heavy heart, but with a light and jaunty step, my spouse at my side enjoying life to the full.  I cannot change what has happened, and I would not for there is a purpose for this, though I am unable to see what that is at the moment.

I do not ask that you take this trial away from me, but that you and your angels be there to support me and assist me, so that I can make every minute I have left - be it 1 year or 20 years - count.  When all seems hopeless, fill my heart with the light of your hope and love.

In doing this, I will be able to leave a legacy of love, hope and inspiration for my beautiful daughters, let me teach them faith through my actions.  When the tears blind me, please send the sun to make rainbows out of the tiny droplets spilling from my eyes.

Give me the strength to accept the assistance of those who love me, and let me not turn them away from me, so that I may draw energy from their love, when my energy is depleted.  If it is your will, free my body of the cells which are destroying it, but know that I will not become embittered if you do not.

If I must, help me leave this life enveloped in your loving embrace, filled with peace and contentment.  Please endow our family with the strength to accept your will.  I am truly blessed, that when I do depart, my legacy will live on in my children - as my body fashioned them, nourished them, and gave them life - so I will continue on in them.

When I am no longer able to go on, and must stop on the path to join your legions of angels - please send them to gently lift me up.  Bless me with my own set of wings that I might assist those I leave behind - for there is no one who can look after them and love them as I.

God bless and keep you, Christine, in his loving embrace.  May the legacy of your fighting spirit remain with us forever.

Rita Teubner - August, 1996 copyright October, 2001

In September of 1998, Christine lost her battle and made her transition into spirit.  I know she now looks over her loved ones as she did when she was with us.  Godspeed Christine, may you enjoy the freedom being in spirit brings to your soul.

The following poems are included in my short story, the seasons of life but I am going to include them here as well.

The Cycle of Life

 

I feel you growing inside me, little one, and my heart wants to burst with joy.  At first I didn't care for how you made me feel.  My stomach always felt like I'd just come off a roller coaster ride.  II was tired all the time, but when I felt the first flutter of your tiny hands and feet, I was full of energy once more.

As you grew, so did my love for you.  Soon I felt like a beached whale.  I could no longer see my tired, swollen feet.  There were many restless nights when I got no sleep - after all, it took five minutes to turn from side to side.

Then the big day came.  After the shock of the first big pain, I was filled with joy and fear.  I knew I would soon see the little person who I felt I knew so well, yet I was afraid you wouldn't be "perfect."

As wave after wave of pain hit, I kept thinking "Why did I do this to myself??"  I just wanted to get up and go home.  Then you were here.  There were tears in my eyes when they placed you on my abdomen.  For the first few minutes I was busy taking inventory, making sure everything was there.  In my eyes, you were perfect.

The memories of pain quickly fade as you grow and mature. Someday, my beautiful child, I hope you, too, will experience the  pride and love I felt at the moment of your birth.   As the Cycle of Life Goes On.

Rita Teubner McDougall, May, 1990, copyright, August, 1997

 

 

 

  

Memories

Memories ... they swirl around me, and fill my heart when it is awash with fear, weakness and anger.

Like the big, fluffy flakes of snow falling on a silent, white world, or the hypnotic crackling of a warm fire in a cold world,  the swirl around me, encasing me with love and warmth.

Memories ... of your smiling face, your silent strength,  your undemanding love, give me strength and courage to face whatever task lies ahead with hope in my heart that things will get better.

Although you are gone, and I can no longer touch you or hug you, those memories tucked away in my heart warm me and soothe me when I need a lift.  My only hope is that some day my children will remember me the way I do you, Dad, when they need a "spiritual" hug.

Rita Teubner McDougall, May, 1992

  

 

 

 

I’d Like To Fly

I am a twelve year old child – confused, caught between two worlds.

The grown-up world beckons me – I want to be included in the adult conversations, yet am puzzled by most of what is said. 

I sometimes want to go back to those safe, warm wonderful days of childhood where there is no responsibility. I lived in a beautiful world, wrapped in the fluffy cocoon Mom and Dad provided for me. 

I am frightened by my new responsibilities – to my teachers, family and friends. There are busy days at school, homework and  slumber parties to attend.

I want to spread my wings and fly – yet I want to cling to the past, with my feet firmly on the ground. 

Please world – be good to me.  I step forward to the future filled with hope, glad to have my family, teachers and friends to cling to while I try to spread my wings.  With their help, love and understanding - along with God's guidance - someday I'll be able to soar.

Rita Teubner McDougall   April, 1990

 

 

 

 

A Thank You to my Dad

Thank you, Dad, for teaching me to love, laugh, and play.  For teaching me to hold my head up high and walk with dignity through life.

You were there when I took my first steps, to urge me on and guide me.  It was you who taught me how to ride a bike, throw a ball and pushed me endlessly on a swing until I could do so myself.

You also taught me to strive to make myself  better, the value of a good education and how to work hard to get ahead.  If you were doing something, it should be done right.  I can remember the times dishes were washed and re-washed before they passed your inspection.

When everything seemed to be falling apart with me and my family, you were there to lean on.  You also taught me how to pray, and oh, how I appreciate that now – I know how to find comfort and solace in my God.

It seems, dear man, you saved the hardest, most important lesson for last.  I not only have to thank you for showing me how to live and love but also for showing me how to die clothed in dignity and peace.

When the Good Lord calls me home, he surely will send you to guide me along the path to him.

Rita Teubner McDougall, July 26, 1988

 

 

Click Below to Link to Site Index Page

The music you are listening to is Enchantment from "The Merlin Mystery" by Alkaemy